If you are arriving here as the second link of the chain from my post on the Exhorter, welcome, and if not, then welcome anyway. I am grateful you are here. And this Series on “How G-d Wounds and then Heals the Redemptive Gifts is very important. This post on the Mercy will naturally bleed over into the post on the Prophet, because for some reason, there was a natural flow from the one to the other, especailly given G-d places Mercies in such close proximity to Prophets so regularly.
Preface: Marrying Jezebel and Keeping Up Good Appearances
Gang,
It is October 30th…
I am dealing with a situation that will require me to tell more of my story.
Many of you know me as a verbal expressive and an external processor.
But that is not reality.
I am only a writer and an external processor because I am an empath. I help other internal processors process because they otherwise might not have a voice to speak up and process.
And this is a piece of my biography.
When I moved to the Midwest, I thought I would find the woman of my dreams and marry and raise a large family.
I was wrong.
To that point, I had been living in a massive dose of non-reality, that enabled me to press forward with marrying a Jezebel Spirit-possessed woman, simply because she had a dream, and her then-best-friend and a number of acquaintances said this was the will of G-d without explaining themselves.
I was told that they needed no justification for their reasoning, and when I pressed them for an answer why, they refused to give an answer.
When I voiced concerns, they ignored those concerns.
When I said things were not well, the only people that were in my corner were my then-best-friend-in-college, and the dean of my college, who was also my teacher in New Testament Greek.
And all that time, instead of listening to the red and yellow flags coupled with zero conviction of the King, I pushed forward because friends told me.
And what followed was a 3013-day-long struggle to regain my voice, while being controlled by what grew into an alcoholic, psychologically-and-verbally-abusive asshole.
And her family.
With my friends and her friends giving zero support, while letting me jump out of the frying pan and into the fire.
And as a result of me not listening, eight years later, I was arrested, she cheated on me, and I had to file for divorce.
Since that time, in dealing with people, I find this unusual quality that sometimes crops up in people: Often, they will give their opinion when they want, but too often, when I have a quizzical inquiry, the question or the observation gets ignored. So, too often, I am left scratching my head, while situations get unanswered, undealt-with, or unresolved.
I think it is because there is a test the King puts Mercies through…And they have to often not only make do with the unwillingness of a person to finish speaking to the Mercy’s curiosity, they also have to deal with refusing the counsel of someone who may speak in such a way the Mercy feels pressure or intimidation from the person. Either way, there are a number of ways the Mercy can learn to deal with fighting the fear of man.
And this is part of the process, from a number of different facets, of how a G-d deals with, and breaks a Mercy so that He can heal them.
So, how does G-d break a Mercy?
Real simple.
The Idol of Relationships
He breaks him or her of their radical codependence on other relationships, and brings them to the place of radical dependence on the King.
He shows them the places they have over-relied on other people, and other false families, and false realities, and falsely-deep social places, and breaks them of their pervasive wont to say “I am legitimate because other people love me and want deep relationships with me.”
Sometimes people want relationships on their terms, and there is no room in their mind for considering a win/win.
Oh well.
Sometimes people have everything figured out and do not need your opinion.
Oh well.
Sometimes, people are just radically consumed with their own issues and do not have time for your issues or concerns.
Well, there is the King, Who, if we will give due dilligence to connecting with Him, will respond and reciporocate.
Note to the Mercies: if you have a relationship into which you have entered without due consideration or counsel from the King, you will find yourself more often than not, struggling with your own voice, or maybe struggling with hearing His voice.
If others take over for speaking up for you, and you refuse to speak for yourself, you will not be in a place of health.
And the King will make sure to yank that rug of dependance out from under you, especially if those relationships have not pushed you to radically interact with, and relate to, the King.
He breaks us of the incessant need to push our decision-making onto others, and requires that we learn to make decisions on our own.
Because of the fear of man that is pervasive with the Mercy, as well as the fear of letting others down or wounding them, and the selfless martyr complex, He often pushes us to make the adult decisions of being sons and building with whatever raw materials He gives us, and making decisions that we are okay with, and as we grow, breaks us from the mold of “you must obey My voice” and refuses to tell us how to to live our lives. Sometimes, He will put us into positions, where we will hurt someone’s feelings and then we have to deal with that outflow, and risk something. Are we ready to choose the danger? Or are we still concerned with appearance and perception or pain.
The Idol of Obedience
As one of my Mercy friends got to saying. “I used to ask the L-rd what I should wear each day until He told me one day that I am no longer in Kindergarten.”
Sometimes, we give the King lattitude to speak to matters of wardrobe, but there may come a time or a day where He tells us to make our own choices.
And we must be content with being sons, making our own choices and being content with the consequences.
And we must learn the art of refusing to apologize for our choices.
And enough of this shit of “obedience to the L-rd is our highest calling”.
Obedience is a garbage goal for which to set.
It is rather a transition point between bondage and liberty, slavery and sonship.
And a higher goal yet still is for us to be able to wield the freedom of the King with responsibility and make our own decisions.
Too many believers laud obedience, and they forget or neglect growing as sons into what we were made to do.
And we want to shirk responsibility by passing the blame for our decisions to anything but handing the blame to the King.
But, the King is working us, especially the Mercies, to break us of everyone else, and to place us on Him.
He wants to stretch our capacity to trust He knows what He is doing.
It may look like a danger to trust His goodness.
But He does know what He is doing.
The Idol of Appearance
He is ringing us to a place where we seek Him first, and to take up the mantle of responsibility without apologizing for the truth, is a major thing.
He is also going to break us of appearance and perception versus truth.
Are we going to man up and woman up and deal in truth, or are we going to have things as we perceive them?
See them according to truth, or see them according to appearance.
Are we responding to an expectation or to the leading of the L-rd.
Are we driven by truth or by the expectations that have been pushed on us?
Healing the Mercy By Forcing Him Or Her to Relate to and Depend on the King and To Walk In Truth
Now, how does the L-rd heal the Mercy?
By forcing us to relate to the King, but teaching us how to deal in truth. And by driving us to speak the truth.
How do we walk in healing?
By knowing the Truth Himself (the one man, Yeshua) and being willing to deal in truth.
And that may be hard for us.
Put differently, The L-rd breaks us of depending on the opinions of others. And if we are not willing to resist and break off the opinions of others, that will cut off the flow of the L-rd. Now, there is a place for loving and creating room for showing some regard for others, but to the point where we DEPEND on their viewpoints, our hearts will not be as free.
But we have the weight of expectations that are cultivated, and those expectations can be the expectations of the L-rd. Do we let others define us by their expectations, or do we let the L-rd define us? We might have some room for truth from others, but if it differs from the King’s definitions, then that can impact the flow of the L-rd in our lives.
So, whose flow do you want, Oh Mercy?
Whose flow do you really want?
To whom is your flow subject? Others, and the history of their opinions? Or the opinions of the King?
Harshness, we apologize for. The truth and dependence on others, we don’t.
We make room for walking in our design of tenderness and compassion, but we grow to the place where we speak in truth and deal in truth, and acknowledge the truth. And pursue the truth.
And with this, we will continue on the Mercy in the next post and also consider the Prophet. For that epilogue, click here.