When institutional church is set up as a commandment, regardless of the level of commoditization, children are led to believe an institution is the arbiter of their legitimacy rather than the Most High G-d.
And if:
1) The church only legitimizes duty,
2) the church attaches worth only to the individual so long as they perform a necessary function vital to the life of the church,
3) the church refuses to seek helping the individual in unpacking their design, equipping them in their design, and releasing them to fulfill that design,
4) the church only instead wants the individual to contribute to the furtherance of the church’s agenda
5) the church has no culture of affection, culture of value for the inherent dignity of each individual, and culture of dignity for the identity of the individual, and
6) the church treats the individual as little more than a replaceable widget or number,
then obedience to a mechanical agenda becomes the end goal in sight, and the children as adults are taught to become little more than consumers or resellers instead of factories producing new truth.
And we start a vicious cycle all over again that only breaks when someone leaves that toxic cycle and embraces their design.
Church is meant to be the ultimate unpacker of design, not the ultimate machine to grind them up.
Setting your kids up to fail, honestly, is a matter of refusing to train them up in accordance with how their Father hardwired them and forcing them to fit into some preconceived ideal mold that has obedience as the end game.
And obedience is the task of slaves, rather than sons and friends, which is a contradiction of John 1:12, John 15:15-17, and Romans 8:16.