Carl Killingsworth is someone I deeply respect as a friend and as an occasional mentor. He has walked places that I have walked before I wakes there. We have some common friends in Missouri, and some precious memories.
I served with him on altar teams at a previous church, and, other than my wife, his example colors just about every decision I make at the altar or when working with people who are in need of healing or deliverance:
His conversations with me on the late Kenneth Hagin shaped my views on Hagin deeply. Hagin, like him or not, was very influential on those of us who stand in the Charismatic and Pentecostal Tradition.
Carl made a comment on cusswords and disparaging speech that is worth sharing, so I present it for your consideration below.
I suspect God is a lot less bothered by a cussword every now and then than He is by the parent berating a child, or a spouse berating or criticizing their partner. There is so much of that in our world, Bosses thinking that criticizing is the same as correction, Parents labeling their children as stupid, worthless, etc, or the verbal abuse that occurs in relationships. The power of words is immense, and if I bellieve the condemning critical things spoken over me and begin to affirm them with my own mouth, a spiritual stronghold is built that may never be broken. And that can be accomplished by never uttering anything near what we consider a “cuss word”
My parents did something with me, and I did so with my children, When they needed correction, Mom would say, good boys don’t to that, you are a good boy so STOP IT, and if I didn’t she would spank my butt.
All I can say is wow.
Don’t do cuss words (not often anyway!) Soap tastes horrid, especially when some sticks to the edges of teeth!
But I was brought up with the mantra of Sticks-and-stones-will-break-my-bones-but-names-will-never-hurt-me… chanted sing-song style with a nasal Aussie twang! But those names hurt deep! ‘Joan-Blake-the-carpet-snake’… (yes, I was a Blake) had me as a despised oddity as a youngster, because our family had no kith in the small closed community… We were ‘foreigners’ and they didn’t want us to belong!
Criticism was rife as quoted above by Carl.. and compounded by the knowing even from the womb, I knew that I was not clever, being the product of unclever parents who conceived me in the first month of marriage!
On every school report, meant well, I’m sure…’Joan can do better’… Could she? She strove her best all the time, just to be a ‘good little girl’, and get the best marks she could! Not fair? Definitely not fair! Disparaging words were the order of my every day! But they were served up to me in an effort to ‘encourage’ me, to correct and boot me along! Not fair! And I burrowed myself into a hidey-hole, nice and safe!
So there was this taste in my mouth from the hurt I hid, that echoed in my thoughts and words about myself as I believed the lies that I was fed!
hey weren’t even cuss words!
And when someone told me I was pretty, I drew back even further, to hide the tiny flutter that maybe, I may be a little bit pretty and some day Prince Charming may come along…
My dear parents hadn’t been trained up to be parents, yet they stumbled along, one step ahead of me, trying to make sense of the negativity in the community, and always making better and better choices in their child-raising! The pain was still there, but they were adding to it less and less!
As a young teacher, I had a beloved gem of a senior staff member who took me under his wing and poured encouragement into me, mentoring me. When I messed up he didn’t ever rub my nose in it, but helped me back on my feet, and in that lace of having to learn from my mistakes in a safe way, I was beginning to grown into sonship!
When I was well into my fifties my parents admitted to me that that they had made a pact to never tell me how wonderful they thought I was! They apologised and asked my forgiveness! I’d already forgiven them of every unsaid blessing… and our love exploded into something very productive They had not wanted me to ‘be vain’ Oh dear! And from that time we all began to affirm one another!
The words of wisdom of Paul to the Philippians is pricelessly appropriate…
**Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.(Phil4:8-9 MSG)**
So my summation… Good thoughts… good words… bring good… according to His good plans and promises! Amen!