From The Desk of Arthur Burk: Restructuring a Family

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Reposted with permission

Arthur writes:

GRRR. . .

“Sally” was a life giver.

Not a bad thing.

Her extended family got used to seeing her as an ATM machine that they could tap at any time, with no credit limit.

Not a good thing.

Sally ran out of emotional and physical energy recently and decided to start limiting the withdrawals people could make from her life.

A really wise thing.

Her extended family is furious at her for making them walk in reality, eating the consequences of their own choices. She has violated the social contract they developed for her, after honoring it for years.

A highly predictable thing.

Now she is sick and is struggling with the lack of dopamine rewards she used to get from enabling, as well as struggling with the label of traitor that her family has put on her.

A really brutal thing.

Breaking out of a co-dependent relationship is tough when you finally find the courage to walk away from the person involved. It is harder than making peace in the Middle East when you have to stay in a family, and train them to embrace responsibility and not shove their junk off on you.

A cruelly complex thing.

Sometimes I think restructuring a codependent family is harder than coming off cocaine.

Sally could use a hug from God today.

And tomorrow.

Since this isn’t going to be over any time soon.

On-point, as usual. We need hugs from the L-rd when we are choosing to be the catalyst for restructuring a dysfunctional family.

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